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entries

june

6/29/2001 the soul of Costa Rica

6/29/2001 the soul of New Orleans

may

5/09/2001 the biggest hick

5/09/2001 i swear on my mother's life

5/09/2001 two yellow lights: where we are now

5/09/2001 like a coupla fucking girls:3 pieces of original poetry by Valerie Cope and Leah Hessler


april

4/18/2001 womanizing

4/18/2001 treat me like i need to be treated

4/18/2001 Tampa shit

4/18/2001 Hookers Index 6: breakfast with hookers

4/18/2001 Hooker Index 5: contact

4/04/2001 Hooker Index 4: the ugly one

4/04/2001 Hooker Index 3: renters

4/02/2001 Hooker Index 2: semi-professional

march

3/21/2001 letting it out again

3/21/2001 sweat the details

3/21/2001 never talk to me again

3/20/2001 in a bid for normalcy

3/20/2001 six inches away

3/16/2001 Hooker Index 1: with your hands

3/16/2001 the sword in the stone

3/13/2001 look at her smile!

3/12/2001 the woman with the beautiful, faint mustache

3/05/2001 the village dance

3/03/2001 baby

3/01/2001 show me something fucked up

black history month

2/27/2001 first there was andy

2/27/2001 three rides described, while waiting for the fourth (which came after I was done writing)

2/23/2001 un dia

2/22/2001 shark's eye

2/21/2001 crab trap

2/20/2001 move out of the way

2/19/2001 Kittens

2/17/2001 HELP

2/17/2001 swan song

2/16/2001 the semi-famous author

2/14/2001 a dear jon letter for valentine's day

2/13/2001 new world

2/11/2001 the red-headed stranger

2/11/2001 regresar

2/10/2001  our birthdays as hell

2/09/2001  a list

january

1/26/2001  i went wild

1/25/2001  that old cliche about 'fight or flight'

1/20/2001  the other morning

1/19/2001  you are invited

1/10/2001  is that your title? gimmee that

1/3/2001  i'm like, all fired up now

december

12/30/2000  blinding myself for you

11/24/2000  things that should be mine: A COLLECTION OF REAL LETTERS

12/23/2000  Holden on

12/22/2000  COMMONPLACE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Swedish guitar super-hero, Yngwie Malmsteen

12/13/2000  i need it more than her

12/12/2000  niggers of The New South

12/09/2000  the magic snorkel

november

11/30/2000  brand new lips

11/28/2000  condom compulsion, gagging habit, Lexus addiction and the writing disease

11/27/2000  The Reading PT -2: the prequel

11/21/2000   The Reading Last Weekend PT 1: @ Open Letters

11/18/2000  Mouthy: mouth to mouth (a poem about mouths: for the redhaired girl, and her mouth)

11/18/2000   water ballet

11/17/2000 The Reading Last Weekend. By guest 'emotional reporter', Stefanie Kalem

11/10/2000 This Week's Mail: a collection of real letters (eXXXplicit)

11/9/2000  un-edited OPEN LETTER re: Al Gore in Tampa:  THE DIRTY VERSION (scatology included)

11/2/2000  FUCK FLORIDA 2.2:  "...like some very naïve Floridian would do in New York City"

11/1/2000 FUCK FLORIDA 2.1:
this weekend I played a show in New York City (and Vincent Gallow, if that's how you spell his last name, the guy from Buffalo 66, was at the show)

october

HALLOWEEN   EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: FACES OF DEATH writer/director: John Schwartz

10/27/2000   goodbye again

10/22/2000  BULLSHIT: living a life of mystery and intrigue

10/17/2000   tonight i spit in someone's food

10/7/2000   17 (thick cock)

SPECIAL!: lost archives
4/3/2000   an airshow overhead as we spent a day at the beach

10/5/2000   healing

10/2/2000   NEW I was in a band with LL Cool J's DJ; Cut Creator

september

9/30/2000   uninviting and gray

9/27/2000   EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW / SHOW REVIEW
PART ONE:The 2 Live Crew Booty Dancers and Fresh Kid Ice

9/20/2000   #9 1/2 : you don't want to do that, baby.

9/14/2000   #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 #9 : number nine

9/13/2000   a soft voice like forgiveness

9/7/2000  TEST PATTERN INK19 column 2: one man's meet

9/5/2000  My New Job + EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with Matt Pinfield (the bald, Uncle Fester guy on MTV)

LABOR DAY 9/04/2000   to my co-workers

august

(REVISED 8/31)
8/30/2000  RATT/WARRANT concert review PT 2: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with Jani Lane of WARRANT: i don't care yet

8/29/2000   RATT/WARRANT concert review PT 1: exclusive interview with Fucked-Up Guy

8/25/2000  the purer-mouthed girls

8/23/2000   The AmeriCar Underworld PT 1

8/22/2000  meta-letter

8/21/2000  a night out kissing theater majors: EASYPIC vision

8/16/2000  eulogy: the girl vs. the cat

8/14/2000   Stone: Mr. Worthless, R.I.P.

8/10/2000  My Roommate Greg and the Hooker : a character study

Three days past my rent...8/8/2000  EXCLUSIVE REVIEW     UP IN SMOKE TOUR (w/ Eminem/Dr Dre/Snoop Dogg/FunKruze): what's the difference between me and you?

8/6/2000   GALLERIES of relevance I & II

8/5/2000   "children's suite"

8/4/2000   COMMONPLACE EXCLUSIVE:

Small Club opening in Seminole Heights, Tampa

8/3/2000   guts

8/2/2000   i hope that you choke

8/1/2000   if god is a woman i am hopelessly in love

7/31/2000   Tough love

july

7/26/2000   Ecstasy and lubricants

7/23/2000   the battle to nap with HORSEGIRL

7/22/2000    caregiver (I)

7/20/2000    mushroom season 2000 : pt I

7/18/2000    FUCK FLORIDA 4.75: too much significance

7/18 EXTRA   TEST PATTERN 3: one-night-stand CONTINUED

7/17/2000     An Illustrated chokehold.

7/13/2000 (REVISED 7/17)   TEST PATTERN 2: choking on luxury

7/12/2000    I Hate Everyone in Tampa Except the Beautiful Women: a return to the journal aesthetic

7/11/2000    TEST PATTERN: one-night stand

7/7/2000    FUCK FLORIDA 3:the buddy system

7/3/2000    a roach in my food and a void in my life

june

6/30/2000    FUCK FLORIDA 2.5:the forces of darkness

6/29/2000   (revised 7/3) FUCK FLORIDA 2: swept away

6/28/2000   

6/27/2000   (revised 6/28) FUCK FLORIDA 1: blood & sweat & ass & elbows & clean clothes

6/23/2000   goodbye

6/22/2000   EXCLUSIVE:Interview with a Mildly Perverted Young Writer : 20 minutes with author, Jonathan Ames

6/20/2000   Gallery / Illustrations / Laughs : no one under 18 admitted

6/18/2000   Illustrated confession: 'that guy' by Nevada Caldwell

6/16/2000   confessions and admissions and motherfucking ephemera: the truth about 'feline,' black women, my parents' drug problem and David Lee Roth

6/15/2000   'feline' pt 3/4

6/11/2000   schoolin your ass in LINKNOWLEDGY

6/10/2000   second feline ILLUSTRATION (no text): she smelled like bath products

6/9/2000   'feline' pt 2/4 : repeated ILLUSTRATION

6/7/2000   'feline' pt 1/4 : w/ ILLUSTRATION

6/5/2000   An ILLUSTRATED Foreshadow (text by Mike Roberts)

6/3/2000   i hate you when you're drunk 

6/1/2000   day one 

may

5/29/2000   FUCK NEW YORK #4:fighting 

5/28/2000   EXCLUSIVE McSweeney's INTERVIEW: Neal Pollack is a great journalist

5/25/2000   EXCLUSIVE McSweeney's INTERVIEW: Todd Pruzan, Associate Ed., Whatever that means

5/20/2000   Wig Party, yo.

5/19/2000   An ILLUSTRATED confrontation

5/18/2000  An ILLUSTRATED COMMONPLACE retrospect

5/16/2000   FUCK NEW YORK #3: Watch for the Hook

SPECIAL  EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW the dismemberment plan

5/15/2000  NEGATIVELAND: LIVE IN CLEARWATER
(and some fudge bars)

5/12/2000   FUCK NEW YORK #2: tart shark carcass

5/10/2000  Vice-Boyfriends 

5/9/2000  Fame is mine PT 3: Your Tightest Boys: VALEZ

5/7/2000  Fame is mine PT 2: Cut Creator and Your Tight Boys

5/6/2000  An Illustrated Bloodletting of Dark Family Secrets

cinco/de/mayo EXTRA!  "YOUR MOMMA" POEM 

cinco/de/mayo  Fame is mine PT 1: octoroon, or not

5/3/2000  Preparing to FUCK NEW YORK: touching the animals

5/2/2000  I Am A Virgin: last evening THE CASTLE was ours

april

4/29/2000   FUCK NEW YORK: #1:Man vs Nature vs. Flounder

4/28/2000  THIS ONE GIRL: in defense of the monster

4/27/2000  high holding hands

4/26/2000  HATEMAIL: the shallow shaft

4/24/2000  Everything I Ever Wanted to Know

4/23/2000  ha, ha, stoner

4/21/2000  Boys Hit Girls : experiences with domestic violence

4/20 EXTRA Hippie New Year! bits and pieces from the cuttingroom floor

4/20 (bro...)   Here Comes God 2: THE BULL STOPS

4/17/2000  Here Comes God

4/16/2000  THE ROOTS: live in Gainesville : EXTRA!:The Redhead MakeUp Girl reads the journal  

4/14/2000  I CAN'T EVEN TRUST MY OWN FUCKING SISTER!: dorm sex  (NOT with my sister)  

4/13/2000  LAST SAT EVE: actually 4/8/2000:  RED TIDE HipHop House Party: beautiful ass crack  (forgive me for saying that)

4/11/2000  Last Night We Played @ THE CASTLE: red headed whore

4/10/2000  Spirit Animals:Death Becomes Her

4/7/2000  no pigeons

4/5/2000  My Dad's Drug Problem

4/3/2000  I Killed This Poor Bird: a day at the beach

4/2/2000   The Sadness of Special K

4/1/2000  WINTER MUSIC CONFERENCE. Miami PT 3: The Oppressive Power of Beauty

march
3/31/2000  WINTER MUSIC CONFERENCE, Miami PT 2: Staring at the Belle-of-the-Ball

3/27/2000  WINTER MUSIC CONFERENCE, Miami PT 1: The G-Spot and $6 beers

3/25/2000  DON'T date me

3/24/2000  The Greatest Artist in Tampa: two big mouths

3/23/2000  the flasher

3/22/2000  Famous Celebrities That I Have Slept With

3/18/2000  PARTY VULNERABLE!

3/16/2000  My Sister the Puppetmaster

3/15/2000   LIVE! Hardcore Midget Wrestling...seriously

3/13/2000   If You don't Want Him to Love You: FOLLOW THESE RULES

3/10/2000  a question of freckles: TWO JOURNALISTS DEBATE MATING RITUALS

3/9/2000  We Opened Up for TheMakeUp: Social Evolution of the Tampa Bay Sex Scene

3/7/2000  Pussy Incarnate

3/4/2000  Clean Pussy, But No Sex

3/3/2000  Traffic School: The 3rd Reich and Two-Year-Olds on Drugs


february
2/16/2000  Even the Strong Ones Get Weak

january
1/10/2000  My First Argument With My Temporary Girlfriend